


They Say You Get Over Butterflies... (Or, Nine Important Things That Moved Along Dean And Castiel's Relationship)

by orphan_account



Series: I Can Promise You Forever [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Christmas in the Bunker, Denial of Feelings, Destiel - Freeform, Fluff, Human Castiel, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sam ships Destiel, Snow, hand holding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-15
Updated: 2016-07-20
Packaged: 2018-07-15 07:00:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 3,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7212547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas's body is warm, and fits just right against Dean's. The former angel is as close to him as he can get, and Dean, in his vulnerable sleeping state, has an arm wrapped around him. This is the one and only place his true feelings show. Here, in a bed fast asleep with none of his carefully created facade shrouding his emotions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> TUMBLR: samgabe-deancas.tumblr.com

Cas is asleep, a peaceful expression on his face; Dean realizes just his worried and tense Cas is while he's awake. A small smile makes Dean's heart swell. Butterflies flutter around in his stomach and before he's got a chance to analyze the foreign feeling, a smile tugs at the corners of his own lips and he's lost in the feeling he has yet to categorize as love. He's not even thinking or moving on his own anymore; he's possessed by this feeling, this strong, suffocating passion, and it takes the blanket Cas had thrown off him in his sleep and placed it back on him. He hums quietly, smile growing, and murmurs something incoherent. The butterflies go into a frenzy, and the feeling grows stronger until it's choking him, his breath catching in his throat as he realizes: this is love. This, right here, this light feeling that's dark at the same time, it's love.

"So, you and Cas, huh?"

Sam makes his presence known, standing beside Dean.

"No- We're not.."

"I'm sure, Dean."


	2. Chapter 2

"Night, Sammy. Night, Cas." Dean calls out as he walks to his room. He wasn't paying much attention to anything other than the distance between himself and his bed, so he barely acknowledged the two other men responded. 

Once he got to his room, he collapsed on his bed and passed out. The peaceful, quiet slumber lasted for about an hour until fears came flooding into his mind and nightmares ravaged him. He awoke in a cold sweat, clawing at the mattress and gasping for air. 

"Dean?" The voice belonged to Cas, who sat on the bed next to him. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah... I'm good."

The former angel sighs. "No, you're not. Come here.." 

Dean closes his eyes, leaning into Cas's embrace. "I'm sorry.." He whispers shakily. "For what?" Dean sighs softly, "For being like this. I'm a mess, you shouldn't have to deal with this." Cas is silent for a long time. Dean's breaths come in sets of half second twos, never quite making it to the second inhale. "I'd rather be here for you than do nothing and just watch you break." He says softly. Inhale, exhale... Dean's breath catches in his throat. His exhale comes out as a sob. "Please... Stay... With me." "Okay, I will, Dean. I won't leave you." As waves of darkness crash around Dean, the impact causing shaky breaths and hands, Cas holds him close, simply being there. Tears are streaming down his cheeks, a waterfall to accompany the stormy seas buffeting Dean's mind, and he lets it take over. He's drowning in the water. "Deep breaths, Dean." He tries, he really does, but it's hard. He can't get in a breath without a sob interrupting the calm that comes with three count breaths. "You'll be okay, it's alright.." Dean nods, pressing closer to Cas. The two remain on their position, sitting on the bed, until Dean falls asleep. When he succumbs to his exhaustion once more, Cas positions them both so they're laying down. He keeps a comfortable distance from Dean, though; their moment is over, and there's no more cuddling or touching. Dean breaks that rule, though, when he finds Cas in his sleep, nuzzling into him. He wakes up like that in the morning, with Cas's arms wrapped protectively around him. He smiles. He's okay with it until he realizes what's happening. Then he moves away, curling up on the other end of the bed.


	3. Chapter 3

Since the first time Cas had slept with Dean, he'd been staying more and more often, "just in case."

Tonight is one of those nights. Cas's body is warm, and fits just right against Dean's. The former angel is as close to him as he can get, and Dean, in his vulnerable sleeping state, has an arm wrapped around him. This is the one and only place his true feelings show. Here, in a bed fast asleep with none of his carefully created facade shrouding his emotions. "Cas... Love you.." Dean murmurs, stirring slightly. The motion makes Cas awaken. "Love you so much.." Dean continues. "Wait," Cas thinks to himself, "Dean... Loves me? Isn't he- oh, he's asleep. He's probably dreaming about some girl..." Dean smiles slightly in his sleep. "Cas..." Now, the former angel is smiling, listening intently to Dean's words. "Wanna be with you... Forever..." Dean's arms tighten around Cas, "Would you... Marry me?" For a second, Cas's entire body forgets how to function. His heart skips a beat then goes wild, thumping loudly, and he can't think straight. Dean Winchester loves him. Dean Winchester, the man laying next to him, reciprocates Castiel's feelings. Cas knew he'd never admit it while he's concious, but that's okay because hearing it at two in the morning from a sleeping Dean is good enough for him. *** Dean wakes up to find Cas in his arms. His body had betrayed him yet again, searching out Cas's. "Hey Dean?" The dark haired man asks. "Yes?" "I have a question." "Okay, shoot." "Are we... A thing?" Dean's breath catches in his throat. "W-What do you mean?" "Well, we've been sleeping together... And you were been dreaming about me.." "Wait- how do you know that? You're not an angel anymore.. Right?" "I heard you talking in your sleep." Dean lets out a sigh. "Oh... Well, Cas, if you want us to be a thing... Then I guess we're..." "Really?" "Really." Cas snuggles closer to Dean, who mumbles, "I love you, Castiel."


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long... I've been a bit busy with both writing and other things that I won't bore you with.
> 
> Here is a very late chapter.

The butterflies have made their return. It seems like for every one that was originally there, there's a whole swarm, and Dean's strangely okay with it. Cas's laugh is a real, genuine one, so much unlike the slightly amused chuckles that angel Cas would have, it surprises Dean. He doesn't even know what he said anymore; he's so caught up in that smile and the laugh that came along with it. "Dean?" Cas's expression suddenly changes into something serious. "Yeah, Cas?" Dean responds, taking a bite of his burger. They were currently at a diner, alone only because Sammy had 'research' to do. Research as in watching Netflix, which they were currently using for free with a one month trial, and giving his older brother some time with his boyfriend. "I'm not sure what your boundaries are. Physical contact has always been off-limits, and... I don't know what's okay and what's not." Dean sighs a deep, drawn out sigh and takes Castiel's hand. "This is okay," He gently squeezes his hand, "And so is anything else, but I'm not ready for... Doing things yet." "That's fine," Cas hesitates, voice becoming quiet and soft, "I'm not, either." Dean nods, picking up a french fry with his free hand and folding it so that it fits into his mouth. They were hella long fries. "'M glad we're both on the same page." "Me, too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sleep schedule? What's that? 
> 
> This is the fifth night in a row I've been up all night writing.


	5. Chapter 5

It had been months since Dean and Cas's conversation in the diner, the chill of early April warming into the welcome heat of late July. Neither of them spoke of the topic discussed that day. There was nothing much to talk about, really; they both had the comforting knowledge that the other wasn't expecting something they weren't ready to give. 

Even though Cas and Dean slept together regularly, they never referred to one of the two rooms as theirs, continuing with the labels of "Dean's room" and "Cas's room." Cas had started to gravitate towards Dean's more, and he could often be found there, reading or watching Netflix- which they had officially gotten in May thanks to Charlie- like he was doing now.

Cas was all curled up on Dean's bed, intently watching a movie. Dean saw this and grinned, jokingly saying, "If you're gonna be here all day, you might as well just move in, Cas." To which he replied, "That's a good idea."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's short, I know, but I'll make up for it in the last chapter... ;)
> 
> It's gonna be great, trust me. 
> 
> I WISH I COULD TELL YOU GUYS RIGHT NOW BUT IT'D SPOIL THE ENTIRE STORY AND AHHH I'M JUST SO EXCITED ! !


	6. Chapter 6

Sometimes, Cas's thoughts would wander to what Dean said while he was dreaming- marry me- but he often dismissed it as something only said while asleep. There wasn't a love  _that_ strong here.. Right? There was no way they'd ever get married because Dean was just too afraid of commitment and an official bond like that would be too much... Right? 

 

Or, is it possible that Dean actually  _wants_ something like that...?

 

The two lay in bed together, Dean's arms wrapped around Cas in a protective hold, fast asleep. Cas, unlike Dean, was restless. There was just too much on his mind. Most of his thoughts were something along the lines of, "How long is this going to last?" or "Does Dean want to... Make things more official than they already are?" Dean's arms tighten round Castiel as he draws in a sharp breath, but when Cas whispers, "It's alright, Dean. I'm right here, you're okay," he immediately calms down and peace is restored. 

 

_If Dean wants to take this further, we will, but I'm not going to push it. I'm happy right here, in the place we are now.._

 

Cas smiles softly, sighing deeply, and presses closer to Dean, who shifts and tightens his hold on him. 


	7. Snow

It was winter now, and light grey covered the sky. Sam an an never really got into the holiday festivities, but Cas? Ever since he'd gotten the hang of being human, he'd been all for it, convincing the Winchesters to at least try to be festive (He hadn't wanted to do much at first.) Dean was up for anything Cas wanted, and that was it; they'd gotten a tree and decorated it with lights and all that fun stuff.

When Dean awoke, Cas was in the kitchen drinking coffee- they were out of milk, so the former angel had mixed a dollop of ice cream into it because Sam suggested it. He greets Dean with a smile. "Good morning, Dean." He walks up to him, setting his coffee on the counter, and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. 

Dean immediately reciprocated, hands at Cas's waist. The raven haired man's fingers trailed over Dean's torso as he smiles into the kiss. Both of them were content to remain this way for a while, but eventually Cas had to pull away to breathe. He rested his forehead against Dean's. 

"I love you, Cas." Dean murmurs, to which Cas replies, "Love you, too." 

Silence filled the air, the aroma of coffee and pine filling the air. This, Dean thinks to himself, is the life they deserve. Peace, quiet, and happiness. Shelter from the turmoil of hunting and a life that doesn't involve dying and resurrecting every other day. 

Cas buries his face in the nook of Dean's neck, letting out a contented sigh. Dean takes this moment to glance up at the window, where he can see glittery snowflakes fluttering down to the ground. 

"Hey Cas, it's snowing," He whispers. 

Cas looks up at him, excitement in his eyes that's almost child like in nature. "Really?" 

"Mhm. How 'bout we go get dressed and take a walk? How's that sound?" 

Cas pulls Dean into their room, and several minutes later, the two are outside, taking in the scene before them. Heavy flakes of snow fall to the ground, twisting and turning gracefully in the breeze. Cas's eyes shine with wonder- this is his first time seeing snow as a human, and it's so much better experiencing it this way- and Dean can't help but smile. The former angel looks up at Dean, beaming, and says, "This is amazing.." 

The two turn their attention to the sky, watching the miniscule crystals of ice fall to the ground, where grass and pavement has been covered in a blanket of white. 

It might be cold outside, but the love burning inside of them is enough to keep them warm. 

Dean pulls Cas close to him, and the blue eyed man leans into him, humming quietly. 

"Everything I saw when I was an angel was so plain; rain was just water falling to the ground once clouds got too dense. Snow was just rain frozen in just the right way to be differentiated from hail. Now, I see it so differently, and I understand why humans like it so much. It's beautiful, Dean. Nearly everything in this world is so beautiful, if you take the time to notice it." 

Dean nods, kissing the top of his head. "I'm glad you like it, Cas."

In the quiet that followed, the two stood together, letting the snow collect on them. 

After several minutes, Cas whispers, "Dean?"

Green meets blue as they look at each other. 

"Yeah?"

He pauses, "I think you're it for me. I believe you're the one I want to spend the rest of my life with."

Dean's breath catches in his throat. 

"Really?"

"Mhm."

"That's good, 'cause I want the same thing."

Cas smiles brightly, kissing the other man passionately.

Dean Winchester has lived on one night stands for most of his life, and there have only been two noteworthy exceptions. 

There was Lisa, and there was Cas. 

Dean's love for Lisa was strong, but it doesn't come close to the burning passion he feels for Castiel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only two more chapters left! Thanks for reading, everyone! 
> 
> I'm sorry for keeping you waiting, life hit me hard. 
> 
> Again. 
> 
> Oops.


	8. Christmas: Part One

All three men had requested that nobody buy them anything, but that didn't mean gifts weren't being given; both physical items and simple actions. For example, Dean's lack of alcohol (Cas sometimes got upset when Dean drank, and seeing him wihout his whiskey made both him and Sam even happier than they initially were.) and an especially thoughtful gift from the brothers to Castiel.

He'd frequently expressed his wanting for a cat- specifically, a kitten- and Dean had always said that he had to wait until they settled down somewhere.

They'd settled.

Sam's first gift for Dean- no bothering him about things he knew wouldn't change- was given in the Impala. Dean's driving was a little too fast for Sam's liking, especially in the snow, but did he say anything? No. No he didn't. He just let his brother have his fun; he knew what he was doing. Instead of compaining, Sam said, "So, are you gonna propose tonight?" Dean's breath catches in his throat and he almost runs a red light. "Sammy-" "I think tonight would be a perfect time, but that's just me." The older Winchester is silent for a long time. It takes him a while to reply, and when he does he's very quiet. "What if he says no?" Sam sighs softly. "He loves you, Dean. He won't do that." The two spent the remainder of the trip in silence and were surprised to return home to find Cas asleep on the couch. All the festivities occured late at night, when Charlie made an appearance, so they really couldn't blame him. Dean smiles slightly, running off to their room to get a blanket, then placing it over Cas, tucking it around him. Sam let the black ball of fur zoom around the house until she grew tired, at which point she was content with sleeping on top of Castiel. When the former angel awoke, his eyes immediately searched out and found Dean, who was eating pie whilst wandering around the house. He met Cas's gaze. "Merry Christmas, Cas." He said with a smile. The former angel shifted, drawing the attention of the cat, who mewled in protest. Cas's eyes lit up as his attention was turned to the ball of fur laying on his torso.

When he glanced back up, he found Dean walking up to him and kneeling beside him. "I think we've settled down enough, don't you?" Cas pulled him close and kissed him gently, fingers lightly running through his hair. When they broke the kiss, they rested their foreheads against each other's. "Love you." "Love you, too, Dean."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I know I implied there were nine chapters, but....
> 
> There's ten now.


	9. Christmas: Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I said the last chapter was going to be really long because that's how I planned it originally, but I got too excited and had to move the thing I was writing to an earlier chapter. 
> 
> Also, I was thinking about turning this into a series? Lots of domestic fluff, maybe some smut and things? What do you think? Let me know down in the comments!

Charlie had fallen asleep in the guest bedroom- which used to be Cas's- and Sam had hit the hay not too long before. It was just Dean, Castiel, and the various alcoholic beverages they'd all been drinking as if they were much younger. "Love you, Cas." Cas smiles. "I love you too." Dean kisses him firmly, pulling him close. Drunken haze envelopes them, blissing them out as they get lost in each other. Dean tastes a little like coffee and a lot like whiskey, radiating an air of confidence that is expressed through his touch. "You're so perfect, Cas.." Dean presses a kiss to his neck. "So fucking perfect." His kisses trail down to his shoulder. "Everyone thinks you're so fragile, but I know better than that. You've always been a fighter, Castiel... You're practically a work of art, you know that?" Cas pulls Dean up to him, kissing him softly. "Sam said tonight would be a perfect time to propose, but I suck ass at emotional stuff, so-" Cas's lips crash into his, firm yet gentle and heartfelt. "Yes, Dean." "Yes, Yes, Yes."


	10. Many Months Later (Epilouge)

Dean awoke to find Cas cuddled up close to him, the only space between them being for his cat- who they named December because it was the month their world was given light. December- the month- gave them happiness and hope for the future. Dean smiles softly, reaching out to run his fingers through Cas's hair. The former angel smiles softly, a quiet hum barely being heard. "Cas, angel.." Cas had felt undeserving of the nickname, but he began to like it once Dean told him that he'd always be his angel whether it was in literal fashion or not. He told him that he deserved the title no less than he did many years ago, and that he was still the best person Dean knew. This had prompted Castiel to kiss him, and ever since then, he'd warmed right up to the name.

Cas's eyes slowly opened, and Dean greeted him with a smile. "Mornin' sleeping beauty." The raven haired man laughs lightly, blue eyes sparkling. Dean loves that laugh. "Morning, Dean."

The black ball of fur between them moves, awakening, and Cas softly pets her. She's grown a lot in these past months, no longer the small baby they'd adopted just a few months earlier. "Hey, Burr," Cas murmurs, using the shortened version of her name. She purrs and nuzzles Cas's hand. Dean smiles, just watching the two.

God, this is so wonderful.

This is everything he's ever wanted and more; much, much more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's it, I guess...
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Haha just kidding, this is definitely being expanded into a series. It's probably going to be a lot of stand alone drabbles, as I have no time whatsoever to write, and maybe a few that have multiple chapters, but I don't know. Also, if you've got any requests for a fic, you can just drop them in the comments OR send me a message on Tumblr.


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